@TweetsOfMick
Cleaning is catharsis. I’m not certain why, but for some reason, obsessively cleaning my house makes me feel much better about myself and life in general. It relieves my stress and grants me a temporary reprieve from my depression. It gives me time to breathe and enjoy something. The feeling of a clean house, clean sheets, a clean floor..it gives me an hour or two of time to just enjoy a movie, or Xbox, or anything.
Could it be that cleaning is a stand-in for healing, and my house is a stand-in for my mind? Possibly. metaphorically scrubbing the depression away while getting the spaghettios out of my carpet with a fork? Maybe I have OCD tendencies that cause disorganization to contribute to my depression and instability.
Or maybe it just takes my mind off things and gives me a feeling of control. I, RYAN MICK, KING OF THIS HOUSE, can control how clean it is. Maybe that’s all it really is. I can control whether I clean or not, and it gives me a feeling of power when I feel otherwise powerless.
Who knows.
When I get depressed, I clean. I clean obsessively and I keep cleaning until I get that cleaning high and feel better. It’s the only thing that can make me feel less dead. I don’t know if it’s normal or not. I hope it’s not. It would make sense though. I can’t imagine not having a problem with depression if I was a maid.
There’s really two options for why it works. It’s either me metaphorically scrubbing the filth from my mind and reorganizing my entire consciousness or just taking my mind off shit. I hope it’s the former. That’d be much cooler. The endorphin high I get feels like a running high. It’s a grand feeling to go from depression to elation for an hour or so.
