April 2012
1 post
I am in the most fantastically creative mood right now. I am literally bursting with things to write and say and draw. I’m also bursting with the inability to focus on any one thing so it’s all useless.
March 2012
21 posts
Sometimes, I really want to be a genuine dick to people, but it’s just not who I am.
11 tags
I am not invincible, but I’m trying to be, and it’s going to catch up with me. I lie to myself everyday, telling myself that I don’t need therapy because I’m stronger than other people. I don’t need help because I’ve fought this war for years and I’m not losing, and if I’m not losing, I must be winning. I don’t need a therapist, or my mother,...
I dunno how reblogging all these pictures of couples doesn’t make y’all want to kill yourselves.
I...
…feel like an artist with no art.
7 tags
Cleaning is catharsis. I’m not certain why, but for some reason, obsessively cleaning my house makes me feel much better about myself and life in general. It relieves my stress and grants me a temporary reprieve from my depression. It gives me time to breathe and enjoy something. The feeling of a clean house, clean sheets, a clean floor..it gives me an hour or two of time to just enjoy a...
Am I the vindictive guy who lets you ruin your friendship and backs off out of anger? You don’t want to be my friend anymore, or maybe you just don’t know how. Maybe you’re angry at me or maybe I’ve changed.
Am I the angry guy who decides that I won’t put effort into fixing things? If you don’t want to be in my life, then don’t.
Am I the forgiving...
I’m supposed to write a three page paper over anti-psychotic medications in young children and give my opinion on them, three advantages, and three disadvantages.
The only advantage I can come up with is, if they work for the child, that they work for the child.
Yep. That’s about it.
7 tags
It’s one in the morning and I should be asleep. I’ve got school in eight hours and a psychiatrist appointment in eleven. I wish I could fall asleep but I can’t stop thinking. I can’t lay in that bed calmly. I’d rather lay on the floor. I’m thinking about everything I’m going to tell my psychiatrist tomorrow. She’ll be shocked, I think. Normally my...
11 tags
I’ve posted this before but it’s been on my mind today as it goes along with the theme of me hiding my emotions.
My problems were pretty apparent in high school. Everyone knew I was addicted to prescription drugs, my cuts were visible, and I was clearly depressed. I needed serious help. I needed someone to punch me in the face and tell me to stop hurting myself. I needed an...
8 tags
For years, I would whine to anyone who would listen. Everybody who wasn’t smart enough to tell me to shut the hell up knew my life’s story and about everything that passed through my unstable brain. Sure, people would talk about how pathetic I was behind my back, but I didn’t care. I didn’t care. I didn’t care until my best friends and a girl I was in love with talked...
8 tags
I have a remarkable talent for refusing to learn from my mistakes. I play with fire, get burned, and ignore the lesson that I’ve learned. I douse myself in gasoline and juggle lighters no matter how many times I ignite. I see the sparks and dive straight in.
I ignore warnings, advice, threats, my gut, logic…I ignore everything that screams “STOP!” at me until I’m...
8 tags
"Creativity or Stability. Pick one."
I used to be able to express my feelings well. I could write them out, explain them, post them, show them, put them into art, etc. I used to be crazy, too. Unstable, paranoid, irrational, sleepless, irritable, happy, etc. All those traits and emotions swirling around in my skull sponge, trading places and mixing. Painful? Extremely. I enjoyed the creativity, though. The raw emotion and feeling...
February 2012
49 posts
5 tags
I’m in one of those sit-and-write-for-hours moods but I have nothing to write about. I feel like a blind painter. I’m not a particularly good writer but-
Holy shit. I’m hypomanic. lol
5 tags
The sick truth about stability is that if you struggle long enough to gain it, it’ll bore you once you have it.
It feels kind of meaningless to have so little crazy left in me.
6 tags
I’m trying to do my budget and figure out how much money I need to allocate to each individual bill. Guess what?
holy shit bills add up
On top of that, yes, I’m still getting around thirteen hours a week. Thirteen. I was getting what I wanted, thirty hours a week, and then they cut me to twenty. After another cut, I’m where I am now. Ridiculous. No warnings, no explanations.
...
7 tags
I think..
I think that I am the guy with a lot of potential and absolutely no ambition. I don’t mean to sound egotistical; I just think I’m pretty damn smart in certain areas. I feel that if I had a drive to succeed other than to not be a total failure, I might be really successful and not even a moderate failure.
I’m terrible at mathematics. That is my weakness. Or am I? Have I just...
The Story of a Bipolar Bear.: College students... →
thestoryofabipolarbear:
I’ll be honest there are some really bitchy professors who don’t have a soul.
However, majority of professors are alright, some good, some bad.
But nothing you should be complaining about.
I’m sorry but most of these college students who complain don’t even put shit time into the class.
…
7 tags
I think I fell asleep about twenty times in class. I remember the words Creon, Antigone, Tiresius. Dunno what they did though. They did something. I think the book was called Antigone. Or maybe we’re still on the Odyssey.
I’m going to try to be a good student from now on. I’m going to get good grades, go to class, try to not fall asleep, etc. I realized that if I continue down...
3 tags
I think I’m really funny to a lot of people. Maybe I’m wrong but I do make people laugh a lot and it seems like they enjoy being around me. Hopefully I’m not just egotistical and a social pariah..
Anyway, this is all good and nice except that this only happens if I A) know they like me, or B) don’t care if they like me. As soon as I want to make a good impression or make...
friend: 10 people have asked to be my valentine
me: sometimes i meow at cats and they meow back
